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Family

My journey through SL has been an interesting one. Even though I "started playing" SL back in 2007, I probably only played a total of 30 days from January 2007 to September 2009. I officially came back to SL September 15, 2009 and stayed ever since. That was my beginning and this is my confession.

If you were to ask me if I'd ever be a family man in the game when I started playing again, I would have said 'no'. Sure I could have a family - a kid there on the side, being cute and that was that, but it wouldn't be anything more. I wouldn't have gone above and beyond what normal 'friends' do.

Perhaps I should explain my hierarchy in that, for me, family is the highest level. You have strangers on the bottom, acquaintances on the next level up, friends on the next one higher, best friends, and then family. Family always comes first - that's what I always say. So in SL, back then, a 'family' would not really be a real family for me. It'd just be a fake, casual one on the side.

But that perspective has done a complete 180 on me as soon as Nevy and I became a couple. What was once a game or platform to have fun with friends became a real connection that will help harness and provide growth to our relationship until we can be together. The realm I was in before being together with Nevy, I came to realize quickly, was not going to fly. I was not comfortable with it while with her and I think it's because of amount of love and devotion I have for her. What Nevy and I have is immeasurable, incomparable to anything else I can even imagine. It's just raw and complete connection. We're in sync with each other (the vast majority of the time). She is my life.

What we pride most about what we have is the feeling of being entirely natural. There is no rush and things will come together eventually if it is meant to me. That is why we like to take things slow and use the time in between to enjoy it all. The topic of adoption came up several times through the course of us being together, but so did the topic of being ready and the wish of things coming naturally.

We went into MAW with the mind frame that we wouldn't just settle on a kid - that we would be very picky. We wanted the perfect one who would provide the balance of our family (or as some would say - the peanut butter to our jelly). And we were okay if we couldn't ever find our perfect match. So along came the countless glancing at applications and "awwww'ing" at the cute little responses kids would give.

Among the panels, our Keirsten was there. Truthfully, she was our first choice. Sadly, she was either on trial or not actively matching with the other parent panels. Whichever it was, we just couldn't match with the way things were going. We had to give her a try though.. so we reached out to her. She was the only one we directly contacted to give the trial a shot, and boy were we so happy when she replied back and was willing to give it a try!

She blew us away. We instantly fell in love with her that it almost seemed too fast and too perfect the way things were going. I had caught myself several times, wanting to ask Nevy if we could just end the trial and make it official. But we had to make sure so we gave it a few days, waiting for something to prove us wrong that maybe there would be something that came up that we wouldn't like. Nothing. We loved everything about our Keirsten.

Being her daddy has been and still is so precious, and I cherish it so much. I would go above and beyond for her, as she holds such a big part of my heart. She's my little girl..and she has opened my eyes to what a schmuck I am! I'm such a mush when it comes to her! She's my angel and I love her to bits and pieces!

The way we all are together as a family unit is something so special. The SL world I used to know (all the clubs, crude humor, random nothingness of mindless fun) quickly transformed into a stable setting of family with our angel. As I reflect on everything, I credit her for changing the lifestyles of Nevy and me for the better. She motivated us to bring out the parents in us both, and we wanted to be the best parents possible for her. She deserves it.

We quickly went from a small plot of land with a tree house to something more realistic and harnessing of RP with a bigger plot of land and a suburb house. The issue of neighborhood residents in the sim then raised alarms and we just couldn't have our angel there. So we moved and bought an even bigger plot of land and another house. I absolutely love our land, and it makes me happy that we can provide our Keirbear a comfortable family environment.

Keirsten is my joy - that ray of sunshine that makes you feel warm and loved. But our happiness does not stop with just her. Family also comes in all sizes.
Today our angel, Joshy boy, and I had a race off.. street style! For keeps and slips and all that thug stuff our Keirbear is into now ever since mommy and I gave her that sing-a-long machine with thug beats. The kids whooped my skinny behind! BUT I blame it allll on my laggy computer *nods* We had a blast just messing around and driving around in our angel's barbie race course, and then for refreshments, who could ever pass up slurpees! Joshy brought it to our attention that you can never trust advertisements theses days, as our slurpee machine gives out green 'cola' slurpees. *chuckles*

I love days like these. Just having fun with family. There is nothing like it, really. We can just relax and goof off by ourselves, make each other laugh, just have fun. Family. Nevy and my fun-sized family members may be small in avi size, but their hearts are as big as the sun as it shines so bright with love. I love you, family. Thank you for bringing out the best in me.
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Men vs Women Part I

I'm not sure if there will be multiple parts, but just out of organization's sake, we'll title this the first part of many possible parts in the future. I write this fascinating insight because, frankly, it comes up frequently between Nevy and me. A typical conversation in the beginning of our relationship would go like this:

Six months ago 

Nevy: Creebear, what are you thinking about?
Me: Nothing.
Nevy: Nuh uh. Tell me what you are thinking about right now, mister!
Me: Baby! I'm really actually thinking about nothing!


And the funny thing is.. I really think about nothing! It's like I have this talent where I can shut off my brain and all that is going on in there would be a blank, black screen. Women, on the other hand, it's like a whirlwind in there! Observe:

A few minutes after convincing my wife that nothing was on my mind 

Me: Well? Tell me what's on -your- mind then.
Nevy: You don't want to know.
Me: Uh.. I actually do. Tell me.
Nevy: Well.. I'm thinking that [insert any Alexandre Dumas classic here and the length of it will suffice]


Ten minutes later 

Nevy: So that's what I was thinking. What are you thinking now?
Me: Oh. I'm thinking about.. nothing.
Nevy: LIAR!


It's so funny because it amazes me how absolutely primative I am compared to her. Her brain is whirling 100+ mph and I can just shut mine off and think of nothing. Does that make me ... special?

And now after being with me for six months, Nevy trusts (usually) when I say that nothing is on my mind. She has this keen ability to know when there is a tiny bothering of me and even when I pass it off as "nothing" she knows it's "something". Maybe it's "something" but it's definitely "something small!" that I don't feel the need to really talk it out. However, I end up being defeated in the end because then I end up spilling things and what was once "nothing" suddenly turned into "something".

So now.. six months into our relationship 

Nevy: What's on your mind?
Cree: Nothing.
Nevy: Oh, okay.


And then.. 1 year into our relationship, she just won't ask anymore.

Just kidding. I love you, Joanna.
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My heart

The Presence of Love

And in Life's noisiest hour,
There whispers still the ceaseless Love of Thee,
The heart's Self-solace and soliloquy.
You mold my Hopes, you fashion me within ;
And to the leading Love-throb in the Heart
Through all my Being, through my pulse's beat ;
You lie in all my many Thoughts, like Light,
Like the fair light of Dawn, or summer Eve
On rippling Stream, or cloud-reflecting Lake.
And looking to the Heaven, that bends above you,
How oft! I bless the Lot that made you love me.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joanna

In my noisiest hour and in blind darkness,
Even your silence stirs the depths of my being,
for love so strong need not words to convey
the colors of bold passion I feel from a distance in want of presence
Your voice, light shining through my soul,
A prayer's answer it tenders against the chambers of my heart.
And with every pulse's beat, with all my being,
I listen to that familiar song of thee.
Like warming glow spread through your harmony
A light so bright, it guides and offers
You hold my hopes, my desires, and my breath.
I weep at the song of thee.
Tears seeping of joy the heart's delight,
too small to contain the emotion's escape
I know not how such happiness exists
as the love I have for you and you alone
leaves me exposed to the mercy of my heart's ache for you.
My love, my life, I thank God for making you just for me.

 CJR
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Store Ideas

Just a quick jot of ideas so I don't forget!
  • vendor panels that display the whole boy outfit on model and transparent!
  • gesture vendor
  • men and boy shapes
  • gift cards. (see how that will conflict with current script in vendors)

Currently working on: boy gestures!
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    The Beginning

    My baby has this blog where she says she will write in every day on her daily SL musings. So, to keep up with her and her endeavor, and also as her support and motivation to follow through with her daily activity, I, too, joined this blogging community and will interact with her on a day to day basis. I do have a confession though - yes, a Cree Confession. It could be catchy enough to become a sitcom. Regardless, this confession is... I'd be thoroughly surprised if I keep up with this blog on a healthy basis. And by "healthy", I mean maybe a post every three days or so, or even two posts a week. This is not to say that I have given up already though. It just is an admission to myself that I suck at writing in journals. My third grade teacher even told me that. Just kidding.

    I have a list of things I need to get done in SL. To be productive, I'll just list them here so I can remember them.

    Needs to be done today:
    • The shirts my wife asked me to make for the little kiddies. Blue for boys and green for girls. It'll be easy enough, but all I need is for her to teach me how to lengthen the sleeves on my tshirt template I use for my men's tee's. Without the sleeve extensions, the shirts look more girly and that just won't do for the boys!
    • Paying my custom scripter the rest of the L's I owe her. She did a fantastic job helping my wife and I on our new store .:[AMAME]:. with a special deal script.
    Needs to be done soon:
    • A sign for the store that advertises the t-shirt special deal.
    • A sign above the subscribe-o-matic that advertises group updates.
    • Thinking of doing walking theme music gestures as a store freebie.
    • Making an AMAME tshirt as a group gift.
    • Building a business card dispenser and a vase of flowers for the store to be set on the table.
    • Designing men's jeans.
    • Converting some of the men's tshirts into kids tshirts.
    • Helping my wife script the belts for her boy outfits.
    • Creating a 'magazine-like' photo advertisement of our creations for the store.
    • Finish scripting my board game so it can finally be sold.
    • Build some creations with the multiple flower sculpties I have to be sold on special occasions.
    • Once we have the majority of our products done in the store, there will be lots of heavy promotion to get our name out there.
    • Thinking of events to put on for SUMMER CAMP!
    Well, that's all I can think of for now. More interesting stuff later! Shameless plug here:

    Purchase this tee here

    OH! Before I forget! This little convo between my wife and one of my most favorite peoples, who happens to be my bish!

    [09:37] Mari: lol no, I'm just sleepy, tired and cranky
    [09:37] Mari: I can't believe I am talking to him about periods and stiffs
    [09:38] Nevalyn Looming: LMAOOOOOOOOOO
    [09:38] Nevalyn Looming: QUOTED!
    [09:38] Mari: I meant STUFFS!!!!
    [09:38] Mari: DAM IPHONE!!!! DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!!!



    COOKIES!!!! Om Nom nom nom!
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